As some ....well, a couple of you know, I was recently dating. It ended for a couple of reasons. One was that I don't think she really liked me. I think she liked the me that she saw at work (she works at the same college I work at). While, I'm not completely different from who I am outside my job, there are enough differences that Tony S****n (work) and Tony LLama (outside of work) can be two different people. She refused to call me llama and she didn't seem to like it when others did as well and I know that she didn't care much for the llama hat and the llama jacket/costume.
I was talking to some people about this after we broke up, one of which is an older friend. She explained that women that I date won't want to encourage the llama name. They feel that its self-demeaning at worst and goofy at best. A llama is a pack animal and that I have more potential than a pack animal. While she said this trying to be helpful and complimentary, I think we aren't looking at this the same way.
The llama part of me is a part of me that I'm extremely proud of. It symbolizes to me, the times that I've been brave enough to poke out of my little scared shell and be adventurous, willing to endure the mocking laughter of people if they didn't react favorably to me. Its cheesy, but I can honestly say in all cases except for in dating, my life has been improved by going "Okay, how would Atreyu (the character I portray) handle this situation" and then going from there. I'm, in many cases, very shy, Atreyu isn't. Atreyu is that part of me that is goofy and outgoing and overly optimistic. I really don't feel like locking him away anytime soon; he's fun.
I do realize that by continuing with the "llama thing" I may never attract the lass of my dreams, and I'm fine with that. If I reach the point where I'm no longer fine with that, then I'll change. I'm dynamic. I'm trying to eat healthier and get in better shape because I didn't like the direction my health was taking. Its not going spectacularly, but I'm working at it because I see the need to adapt and improve.
Plah, I spent 4 weeks on and off writing this, and it didn't really turn out the way it sounded in my head during the first week.
posted by The Llama @ 9:07 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I don't know, man. I dig the alter ego. I don't think there's any reason for you to give it up. Like you said, it's a part of who you are. It's a part of what people who know you know and like about you.
Is it the ideal way to get the dream girl? That depends on how you're looking at it. I think your dream girl will find that aspect of you charming and lovable. It's true that's it's probably not the best way to pick up girls at work, but then you never know what they're hiding while they wear their work face either, so scratch that.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that the LLama persona is only a hindrance to dating people that would be wrong for you in the long run anyway.
But then, I don't know that I could be counted on as being the expert, so salt to taste.
See you Friday!
Tony, tony, tony.... *shakes head* On the contrary, the ONLY way to attract the 'lass of your dreams' is to continue being the llama. Because frankly, if she doesn't like your llama-ness, she's clearly far from the girl of YOUR dreams.
You are the llama...you can't change that, shouldn't change that. It's a fantastic, funny, part of you, and there are plenty of people out there that love you for it.
And believe me dearie, there's a girl out there that will love your llamaness too. Although, maybe work isn't the best place to find her.
Tried dating board members? I hear that works for some people. =P
Dude, I don't know you as Tony. I mean, I know you ARE Tony, but I only know you as the Llama. And I LIKE the Llama!
If/when you're around in June I'll get to meet Tony.
And then you can get to know Cameron instead of Shadow.
But really, there isn't too much difference here, except that maybe I'm even MORE of a jerk in real life....
Where was I going with this?
Ah, yes. Zeb and Alarra both make valid points here, but I'm of a mind to agree with Alarra a bit more. Just be you. When you find the right girl (and you will) she'll appreciate that you're just being yourself.
We all have our alternate personae that we carry around and bring out as needed. Our "work persona" is one of those. The Masked Llama is another one for you.
Don't fight it.
All of the above are completely correct. It's part of who you are, a very much loved part of who you are. The right girl is the one that loves all of you.
Or the one who shaves her name into your wool. She's also fun :D
In terms of thinking how would your alter ego handle the situation I think that that can be a good way to handle things in an internal monologue type of way. Honestly I have, on occasion done the same thing with Trog.
Er... well... uh... maaaaaybe that's a bad example.
But I too can be shy sometimes and any way one can gain more confidence is good. You do what works for you man. We're behind you all the way.
NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER SURRENDARRRRR!
You think when I started in with my Goof phase that all the girls swooned over me? No. Some where insistant that I give it up. Others just plain didn't get it. So I kicked them to the curb and am much better for it. And by kicking them to the curb I mean dumped because I wouldn't give it up, but still you get the picture. From someone who has enveloped the alter ego to another, trust me - you will find the one who accepts you as you truly are.
Trust the Goof on this.
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