WWJD? Darned if I know!

I write this as a Christian who is simply pondering the aspects of his faith and teachings. I'm not losing my faith or questioning the spiritual belief in God, just trying to figure out how I best fit into it, I imagine.

Hmmmm, sometimes I wonder if the church hasn't almost done itself a disservice by the way they promote Jesus. I mean, when I was growing up the phrase "What Would Jesus Do?" was pushed on us to be our motto. WWJD became a HUGE thing in the Church. (I'm sure we can all get sidetracked here on a discussion about mass commercialization of the church, however, that's not really my focus. Lets assume that their was a genuine message behind the mass commercialization and a hope that those guidelines would truly help the struggling Christian.)

(Okay, are we back? Awesome!) The problem that I find is that I have a hard time relating to Jesus. I mean, He's portrayed as the Superman of the Bible. He never sins, he can see a person's sins and life story just by looking at them, he can feed 5,000 people with 2 loaves of bread and 5 fish (or was it 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish...anyway). I've got....a good gift for puns and I'm decent with slapstick comedy. Those are my "Super-Powers." I can't see into people's souls; I'm not even a good judge of character. I'm way too trusting and always assume the best of people.


This comes into play usually whenever I'm confronted with a needy homeless guy on the street asking for money. The mental conversation goes like this.

Me, thinking: Hmmmm....this nomad is asking me for money, what should I do?
Other voice in my head, conscience, maybe?: Ah, so its the classic morale dilemma. Do you save your hard-earned money for yourself or do you give some to this gentleman in need?
Me: I'm not sure. Hmmmm...what's the right thing to do here?
Other voice Well, you have always been told to ask yourself "What Would Jesus Do in this situation?" Well, what do you think Jesus would do?
Me: He would be able to see this man's soul and know if he was truly in need of money for food or if he was goign to spend it on drugs or alcohol, or even if he wasn't truly needy at all. He would then know just the right thing to say in order to turn this man's life around and renew his spirit.
Other voice Ummmm...yeah, you can't do that.
Me nope.
other voice: Hmmmm...drive him to McDonald's and buy him a filet-o-fish! That'll get him food and you know exactly where your money went. Pick yourself up one, too. You're hungry.
(See what I mean about being too trusting. In any case, I did drive him to McDonald's and get him a Filet-O-Fish and also a 5 dollar gift card so he could have breakfast tomorrow. He did not kill me, steal my car, or anything in my car, so I guess being too trusting isn't always a bad thing. Also, my Filet-O-Fish was delicious. )

However, you can see where "WWJD" didn't really apply to my situation. I had the same trouble in High School. I was always taught that masturbation was a sin and lusting in general is a very bad thing. (Again, take the time, if you need to, to rant about "oppressing sexuality" or other gripes against the way the church handles such issues. Take your time, I'll wait. Got it out of your system? Okay cool.) So since I was in my teens and beset with a great desire for all things "rutting," I was struggling with vast temptation.

Me: GAH! I'm so shocking horny! Gotta be strong, what would Jesus do in this situation? How did He handle it?
Other voice: Jesus wouldn't give in to temptation. He never sinned. He simply resisted the urges.
Me; What...really? How'd He do that? What's His secret? I'm getting turned on reading Archie and Veronica over here! Its killing me.
Other voice: He's Jesus. He's pure. He is without sin.
Me: ummmm..but I'm not. I'm the masked llama!
Other voice: Yeah. I know.
Me: So what do I do?
Other voice: no idea....ummmm....stop reading Archie and read Sonic the Hedgehog instead? Its not like you're gonna pick up a crush for Princess Sally or anything, right?

So, again, asking "WWJD" didn't really help me at all. I couldn't "be Jesus" and just say "bad temptation, go away." Jesus went 40 days and 40 nights in the desert with no food and when Satan shows up with food Jesus says "no thanks." Even when I tell myself that I'm gonna eat at Subway instead of McDonald's because its healthier for me, if I'm an hour late for supper, I'm getting the Big-Mac meal cuz I am flipping starving!

They say that Jesus is 100% human and 100% God at once. Sure, the Bible does a good job of showing Jesus' humanity when he's grieving, it doesn't show him struggling with sin or "what should I do?" He always knows the answer. I don't always know the answer. I can't relate to someone who does.

I'm not sure what the solution is. "What would Peter do?" isn't really a good role model suggestion, either. He's the perfect example of "Act in Haste, Repent in Leisure."

Just my thoughts on the matter, thanks for reading. Comment if you like.

Not true, but fun!

Five things that aren't true, but are fun to tell people.

1)Studies have shown that businesses that play Christmas music every Monday have higher office morale. "The week just seems happier," said one office worker. However, playing Christmas music all 5 days of the week just makes people sick of it.

2) The script for the live action Captain Planet movie set for a 2012 release has been leaked. Ma-Ti, the boy with "Heart" powers, will be killed off 1/2 through the movie, and the film will take a darker path. Overcome with rage and without heart to guide him, Captain Planet will become a violent eco-terrorist forcing the remaining Planeteers to stop him from committing acts such as impaling whalers with harpoons and beating to death with a 2x4 someone found clubbing baby seals.

3) Whenever the U.S. government destroys old and tattered bills, if the bill has a www.wheresgeorge.com stamp on it, the government must register that bill as "retired" with Where's George. This is in thanks for the increased use the dollar saw after the site went live.

4) 17 summer camps with "Crystal Lake" in their name or location went out of business within 2 years after the original Friday the 13th was released.

5) In order to promote a more healthy lifestyle, Super Mario will be given a slimmer more muscular look in future Mario Bros games. Nintendo of America issued the following press release "Mario is constantly running and jumping and playing sports and physically active, but he's still a pudgy plumber. We believe that it is sending the message that proper exercise doesn't affect your weight and Nintendo wants to promote healthy choices and healthy gamers. Mario will be even more Super than before!"

Pet Peeves Part 2

I know its silly, but my grammatical wool is rubbed the wrong way whenever someone uses "X pride" where X=their, race, gender, sexuality, or lifestyle.

I'm gonna use "Male Pride" as an example, because I happen to be male and of the many things I am, being male is one of the least offensive.

I realize that pride is used as the opposite of shame to say "I'm not ashamed to be a male, I'm proud of it." However, I always think that whenever I'm proud of something, its because its an achievement. I'm proud to be self supporting. I'm proud to have beaten Ruby Weapon in FF7. I'm proud that "LLama Logic" is a known form of logic on the GiantITP forums. I'm proud that I can make the Kessel run in less that 12 Parsecs. I'm proud to live in a pineapple under the sea. These are all accomplishments. They are things that have been achieved through time and effort.

I didn't achieve maleness. I didn't even get to pick the "X" or "Y" chromosome. I just popped out male. No work or time went into being a male, it just kinda happened. The same can be said for race as well as gender and most people agree that sexuality and lifestyle are not choices, either.

Some will make the conclusion that by stating that I'm bothered by the phrase "Male Pride" that I'm ashamed to be a male, or perhaps even worse, a self hating male. This isn't the case. I'm very happy with my maleness. Being able to aim when I pee is a small thrill that I never take for granted. I'm just not proud of it. Instead of a "Proud to be a male" t-shirt, I'd much rather have a "Happy to be a male" t-shirt.

And yes, if you know me better, you may place just about any descriptor in the place of male, except for lazy. While I am lazy, I'm not terribly thrilled by it.

Reunited!!

That is The Fairyland Story. When I was a kid, mom and I stayed at a hotel that had this game and the Willow arcade game. The Willow Arcade game is shocking hard, so I played a lot of Fairyland Story. I loved it and almost beat it. However, I never made it back to that hotel and the name of the game was lost in obscurity over the years. Much like a summer romance, I thought we'd never meet again, but...but....DESTINY INTERVENED!!

Yesterday I purchased Taito Arcade Classics 2 on a whim and one of the 35 games listed was "The Fairyland Story." Turns out I suck at it now, but I'm working on getting better again. GLEE!!

Happy Easter!!

bad timing

I'm sure its coincidence, but still rather awkward timing that the day I finally drop below 238 pounds (my wall, apparently) is the day that the button pops off on the pants I was wearing.

Christmas morning

My mom is quite sneaky, but it all works out in the end.

As you may know, the newest game system I have is the PS2. Sure I'd love a newer console, but who has the money? Well, lots of people, but not me.

Christmas morning I woke up and headed out to see a bunch of presents under the tree. I started tearing into the first box and found..... a pair of socks! Ummmm....okay? The second box also had a pair of socks in them. The third and fourth box had the same. At this point, mom admitted that she had bought me a 6 pack of socks, but thought this would be a more fun way to present them, rather than simply giving me a six pack of wooly foot protection. The next box was a pair of socks, but also contained a Wii nunchuk?!?

I looked up at mom with a confused look and she acted shock with a "OH NO! How did that get in there?" She then pointed to a large present behind the tree and goes "Oh look! I wonder what that could be." Excitedly, I scurried over to it and opened it, optimistic but curious. The large box was .....Wii Play?!?!

I looked to mom, very confused now. I look around for something else, a present I might have missed or some explanation. Mom looked really confused too. "Were you expecting something else?" she asked.

"Ummmm....well, you know....with the controller and the game....I was kinda expecting a Wii."

Mom shook her head. "Nope. That's all you get for Christmas."

I just kinda stood there looking stunned. Mom smiled and asked if I wanted my Birthday present early. When I nodded she scurried off and came back with a large wrapped box. Upon unwrapping it, I found a Wii!!!

That was a very strange, but very happy Christmas morning.