HEY NEW CONTENT

Posted mostly to push my whiny "I hate Transformers" post from the top.

Two names you go by:
1 TONY
2. LLAMA

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. LLAMA CHARM
2. WATCH!

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. PLAY VIDEO GAMES
2. HIKE

Things you want very badly at the moment:
1 A TASTY NON-CARBONATED BEVERAGE THAT ISN’T WATER
2. SUBWAY SOUNDS GOOD

Two favorite pets you have had/have
1. OODLES THE WONDER DOG
. TACO BELL DOG, MY PLUSH CAR GUARDIAN

Two things you did last night:
1. HIKED IN SYCAMORE SHOALS
> 2. PLAYED SLY COOPER’S TIME TRIAL

Two things you ate today
> 1. HAM SANDWICH
> 2. BAGEL

Two people you've talked to today
1. JUSTIN, MY FLATMATE
2. TACO BELL DOG, MY CAR GUARDIAN

Two things you're doing tomorrow: 1. CLEANING THE PLACE A BIT
> 2. GOING TO WORK, PLAH!!

Two longest Car Rides you've been on:
1. ARIZONA
2. FLORIDA WITH A STOP IN CANADA

Your favorite holidays:
1 HALLOWEEN
2 INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY

Two favorite beverages:
1. ROOTBEER
2. GRAPE JUICE

Now apparently the E-Gods demand that you fill this out as well or face the wrath of Churikra!

I'm sorry Humanity. I just don't like you in that way.

I just got done watching Transformers: The Movie.
I've said it before and I'll probably have to say it again. If the title of a movie features certain key words in it, I expect to see the majority of the movie focused on those keywords. When I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean, it focused a lot on pirates. Pirates got all the good lines and memorable scenes. There were lots of pirates and lots of pirates fighting and swindling and being sneaky and painting daisies on a big red rubber ball. You know, pirate-y things!

The problem with Transformers is that there are too many SHOCKING humans in my movie about giant robots. Humans eat up about 85 % of this movie. Its not just that they are there, which is bad enough, but they are handled so incredibly poorly, its not funny haha. Its funny "I'm horrified, but my brain doesn't know how to truly process this wretched scene that is unfolding before me, so I'm just going to laugh because laugh is the brain's default action when it doesn't really know what's going on." If the movie says "Transformers" in the title, I expect to see lots of Transformers and cool fights with Transformers. Yes, the last 30 minutes was great, but the hour and a half building up to it could have been reduced to about 15 minutes of plot exposition and "Hi, I'm Sam. I'm the token human and I'll be the hero. I'm the lovable loser. Well, I'm supposed to be, but I'm really a bossy prick who brings shame to my family name. Sadly I'm going to get the girl at the end and probably breed despite the fact that the world would be a better place if my grandfather had been the last of us."

I will admit that I burst out into a belly laugh at the end of the movie when the words "Directed by Michael Bay" appear and the movie starts playing "What I've Done" by Linkin Park. I think its symbolic of an apology from the director.

lied to

I've been on Facebook 5 minutes and have yet to be approached by a creepy child molester. If CNN were to be believed, I should have 8 strangers wanting to know me better by now. I'm not really disappointed, but someone should fact check CNN a bit better on these internet things.

Chubby Bunny

Hi Ken. Hi Ginger.

Shearing

You know, as strange as it sounds, and as much as it seems like a semi-creepy attempt to be more llama-like, whenever I get a haircut, I don't receive a haircut, so much as I am simply sheared. I hadn't really noticed until I was watching in the mirror as the stylist just took the clippers and buzzed the hair until it was 1/2 inch even on all sides. This may explain my stubbornness to pay over 7.50 for a haircut and why I'm appalled at people charging 14 dollars for a simple trim. Seriously, its 7 minutes of work and its not hard work at that. I'm not picky, I just want the hair to be easy to manage and look even.

Overall the haircut did end up costing me 10.00 because I tipped the lass who had to put up with me a good amount, but she did a good job. Maybe not with the hair, no one has commented on that, so I don't know if its "Good" or not, but she made it an enjoyable experience. She had a wonderful story about trying to cut the hair of some extremely intoxicated lady who threatened to throw up anytime the chair spun. We even talked about Alpaca shearing technique and how odd it was that the Dutch version of Santa Claus had "6 to 8" black men as helpers instead of reindeer. Its odd that no precise number has been decided on even though they've had several decades to take a headcount.
I tip heavily for an entertaining hairdresser or stylist or whatever the proper term may be. To me, that's half the fun of a haircut. Learning new stories, talking with these people as our threads mingle for this short time on the great tapestry of existance. Good times.